Getting Help For A Friend Who Struggles With Fear And Anxiety

Getting help for a friend who struggles with fear and anxiety can be tricky. He or she may be reluctant to get help or they may be scared. This is the time that your friend needs you the most. With this in mind, here are some suggestions on how a person can help his or her friend with their anxiety.

The first step a person should do is to convince their friend to get professional help. Explain to them that they must decide to get the help they need to overcome their anxiety. Nobody can do it for them. Explain to them that seeing a professional will really help them in the long run and that it is in their best interest to get this help.

Remind them that is hope and there are solutions to their anxiety problems if they seek treatment. There is nothing wrong in asking for help. Try to convince your friend that there are ways to manage your persistent anxieties and fears, however they must make the effort to learn these techniques.

When your friend is struggling, be there for him or her. Be supportive of your friend and try to help him out during his struggles. Dealing with fear and anxiety can be tough so give your friend a break when he struggles with his fears and anxieties.

One technique that you can use is to learn from your fearful and anxious situations. In every stressful situation that you experience, begin to learn what works and what you can do to improve. For instance, you have a lot of anxiety and you decide to take a stroll around your local park. The next time you feel anxious you can remind yourself that you got through it the last time by taking a short walk.

Taking advantage of the help that is available can go a long way in managing your fears and anxieties. When you are with your friend, you need to remind him or her of this fact.

Get To Sleep Tonight

I used to have problems sleeping. I was always tired and if I accidentally dropped off during the day for so much as five minutes I wouldn’t be able to sleep the following night. Then a friend told me a trick he used to use and I adapted it slightly. Since then I have always been able to use this technique to get to sleep.

To start with, think about your breathing. Keep it regular and slow. As you breath in think to yourself “sea” and as you breathe out think “shore”. Get a rhythm going. While you’re doing this imagine you’re standing at the edge of the sea looking down at your feet. As you breathe in and think “sea” imagine the small waves running over your feet as a small wave breaks and then, as you breathe out and think “shore” imagine the water retreating back to the sea. See the water as it goes back towards the sea and see the sand that is left behind. Feel that your feet are now on their own little mounds of sand as the sea has washed the surrounding sand away. Repeat.

Now, if you’re like me you’ll be thinking of a hundred other things at the same time. Maybe trying to work out what’s for tea, how to pay off your loan, you’ve just remembered the kids need a packed lunch for school the next day, mentally writing a presentation. Perhaps you’ve just finished work, it’s late and you haven’t had time to wind down properly so your head is swimming with figures. Whatever it is you need to concentrate. That might sound silly – having to concentrate to get to sleep. The natural reaction is to try and relax but if you relax all the worries come flooding back and make you more anxious. You need to concentrate on just two words.

It doesn’t matter if you can’t keep your breathing regular. What matters is that you say “sea” and “shore” to yourself as you breathe in and out. Really concentrate. Think the words as loudly as you can to drown out all the other stuff that keeps coming back to you. Also try to see the little waves lapping at your feet and then the sand as they go back out again. Concentrate as hard as you can on keeping the breathing, the words and the pictures all together. Don’t try to add anything else. Don’t try to count how many times you do this before you drop off. Just keep with the breathing, saying and seeing. It should soon settle into a rhythm but you might not notice. You’ll probably be asleep.

Get Started! Do Something!

This is about getting started. Taking that first step. It is so easy to moan about our lives and complain that things aren’t how we want them to be. We all do it. We all have done it! So how can we break out of that moaning habit and turn it into a doing one? Making the decision to do something is the first step – but taking action is the most important one. So you get it wrong. It can happen. What do you do? Do you lay there on the ground feeling sorry for yourself while life carries on around you, or do you pick yourself up, dust yourself down and do something else? Come on! Get going! Be a doer! From now on do something new that will move you forward to achieve the life you want! And whatever you do, do it with enthusiasm, with gusto and with commitment!

Do Something to move you towards your goals. Do the things you want to achieve seem too big or too far off in the future? Each goal can be broken down into little steps which will lead you to your dream. Is what you do each day helping you to achieve your goals? Ask yourself ‘what small thing (or big thing, if you like) can I do today that will move me towards achieving my goal?’ Then do it!

Do Something today that you’ve been putting off for a while. It’s that dreaded word – procrastination! Some of the things you put off do need some preparation, but others could be started straight away, if you put your mind to it. Decide that this is the day to get going on that list of things that has been weighing you down for so long. Large tasks can be broken down into smaller ones, and those that can be completed in minutes will be completed in minutes – if you only just start them!

Do Something for yourself. Enjoy your life now. Don’t wait for some far-off time when conditions may be right to start making the most of the life you have. Your time is precious. Make every second of it count. What do you enjoy doing? Do you make time to do it? Who do you like being with? Do you spend time with them? Do you speak to them and tell them how much they matter to you?

Do Something active every day. It doesn’t have to be formal exercise, just something that gets your body moving. Take the stairs instead of the lift, go out for a walk in your lunch break, and dance to the radio as you make your tea in the morning. Adding that extra bit of activity will make a great difference to you mentally and physically.

Do Something because you want to, not because you have to. Doing something that you don’t want to do, but feel you ought to, will make you feel more stressed, disgruntled and resentful. Be clear, to yourself, and the people you interact with, about what you are, and are not, prepared to do. Don’t get into a fight about it, but be assertive and clearly state your position. Most people will respect you for it.

Do Something new every day. Listen to a different radio station, join a new club, sign up for a new course or start a new book. Routine can make our lives simpler, but too much routine can numb our brain. Adding something new everyday keeps you stimulated. It doesn’t have to be anything major. Trying a new type of coffee would count!

Do Something Creative every week. Doodling, gardening, painting, crafts, working with fabrics, even cooking something you’ve never attempted before. Write a poem, a short story or even a letter to someone you’ve been thinking about. This will keep your creative juices flowing and keep your brain limbered up, whilst giving you satisfaction at having produced something for yourself.

Do Something for nothing. This is really doing something for someone else and not expecting any reward or return, just doing it because you can and it makes a difference. Enough said.

Do enjoy this quote.

‘It is essential to our well-being, and to our lives, that we play and enjoy life. Every single day do something that makes your heart sing.’ -- Wieder Marcia

Just remember, if you're feeling flat, even if it’s only a little thing, do something!

Get Results From Self Hypnosis

The most important step in any hypnosis program is setting your intention! Before you even turn a self hypnosis session on you should first have a written statement of your intention. this statement should sum up the result you want to accomplish from listening to the hypnosis session. For an example we will assume you have a goal to gain more self confidence.

Firstly write down a statement outling your intent and alter it so that it becomes an affirmation or set of affirmations. Make it present tense and very positive in nature. "I am increasing my confidence everyday", "I am self assured and self confident in every situation" and "I can feel my self-esteem increasing everyday" are a few good examples.

Ensure that you do not include the negative aspect your goal or what you do not want such as "I am no longer lacking in confidence" or "My low self-esteem is getting better". These statements focus on the situation as it is not how you want it to be. So remember keep the statement positive and only include what you do want! While still in a waking state imagine how you would look and feel if these statements were true. Make a quick mental movie of how the new you would walk, talk and interact with people. Create a mental movie that shows you being confident in situations that would normally leave you feeling a lack of confidence. You will use this mental movie during your self-hypnotic trance session.

Begin by breathing deeply. In through your nose to the count of five and out through your mouth to the count of five. This will relax your body.

Focus your gaze softly on a spot in front of you. Look for somewhere that is slightly above eye-level while you keep your head straight.

Relax each muscle group of your body beginning with your feet and moving up to your head. While doing this allow your eyes to close when they begin to feel heavy.

Now take a deep breath and on the exhale mentally repeat your affirmation. Do this for several cycles until you feel that the affirmation is beginning to feel like the truth.

Continue to breathe deeply and imagine that you are at a movie theatre. Directly in front of you hangs a huge wide projection screen. Up on the massive widescreen begin to project the mental movie you made earlier and let it run several times. Hear the audience cheer as the movie runs. Clap and cheer yourself as you watch that 'other' you acting how you want to act and exhibiting the type of confident behaviour you want to have.

Continue your deep slow breathing as it will keep you relaxed.

Now imagine that you are floating up towards the screen. The audience is going wild as they know what is about to happen. They are cheering you on! Imagine that you float into the screen and become part of the movie. You stop behind the "other confident you" and find yourself facing the back of his/her head.

At this time take a step and walk into that 'new' you just as you would step into a projection or as though you wear trying on some new clothes. The new you is a perfect fit! Watch as the colours around get brighter, the sounds get louder and the scene gets bigger. As you enter the new you, feel how it feels to be that person. See what that person sees. Hear what that person hears.

In the distance on the other side of the screen you can hear the audience going wild with delight as you perform and act as that 'other' you would act. Feel how good that feels.

Now repeat your affirmations as you imagine the 'other' confident you would say them. Believe the truth behind these statements and feel that they are true. Say them with conviction.

Now once you feel all those great feelings of confidence, self assurance and self esteem just allow the scene to begin to fade. Mentally begin to count down from five to one as you allow your eyes to slowly open. Become fully aware of your surroundings as you bring yourself back to physical reality but bring with you all those good feelings.

Get Lucky

Ready to get lucky? There are many very specific techniques for generating luck in your life. One of the simplest is to just start looking for good luck. Yes, it really can be as simple as that.

Maybe you have noticed that when you buy a new car, you start to see similar cars all over? Of course they were there before, but now you are seeing them, because you are looking. It works this way with luck too. Start looking for luck and you'll find it. Start counting the ways you are already lucky, and you'll have even more luck.

<b>Get Lucky Today</b>

Some will tell you that God or the universe brings luck into your life once there's grattitude in your heart. It's a nice thought, but not my style. A less spiritual explanation is that when you acknowledge luck, and you look for more, you create a certain frame of mind. This frame of mind helps you take advantage of opportunities you might otherwise not recognize.

For example, if you are looking for a job, and a friend mentions a new business in town that is hiring, you might usually think nothing of it. Now, if you were watching for luck, and grateful for the good luck you've seen in your life, you might be more likely to check it out, right. A few weeks later you may be working for this company, making more money and saying "Boy did I get lucky."

You've probably heard the saying, "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade?" This describes the frame of mind of a lucky person. Just seeing how lucky you are, even in small ways, makes the possibility of good luck more real to you, and this gets you watching. The watching gets you thinking, "How is this lucky for me? What can I do with this situation? How can I make lemonade from these lemons?"

Start counting the ways you are lucky in life, and the first thing you'll notice is that you feel better. A sense of gratitude is good for your soul, even if you're not religious. Start watching for more good luck, and it won't be your imagination when you start to get lucky.

Get Back on the Playground!

Copyright 2006 Mike Pniewski

Did you ever wonder how you went from the kid who couldn't sit still, to the adult who can't get moving?

I asked myself this recently when I took my 3-year-old daughter to the playground at a fast food restaurant. She loves playgrounds and so do I. At an almost frantic pace, she began to scale every inch of the equipment, and I surveyed the scene around me. What I saw were kids playing and parents either trying to wrangle their kids off the playground, or get their little ones to sit still and finish their food before they hit the playground. None of the children were sitting in a chair watching the action. They were either taking part in it or itching to. Some kids are shy and timid, of course, but the overwhelming instinct of children is to jump in and participate in any way possible, even at the expense of fueling their bodies. They seem to have no fear of looking weird or not fitting in, especially the youngest of them.

So what happened to us adults? When did we become afraid? When did we shut off the kid in us and start to think too much? When did we decide we had to grow up?

One of my favorite professors in college taught directing. An actor himself, he remarked one day that he hoped he'd never grow up, because your childlike instincts are what keep the joy and wonder in your work. That sense of play and make-believe is natural to any good actor and we'd better not lose it, he said. For actors, childishness is a best friend. Growing up is dangerous. It robs us of our freedom and the determination not to miss anything. It makes us fearful and doubtful and insecure. It makes us see new people as strangers instead of potential friends. Most importantly, it keeps us from living to our full potential.

So what happened to us? I believe it was something called expectations -- more specifically, other people's expectations of us. When we're little, from birth to 3 or 4-years old, our only care in life is to have fun. Our only job is to be lovable and to love. Everything else is just play. What could be better? But then, as we get older, we start to have expectations put on us. We have to make our bed, we have to go to school, we have to finish our homework, wash the car, get a job, etc., etc. Then we get older and have our own families, career, responsibilities and debts. Not to mention the peer pressures that drive us to have the house or the car or the gadgets that make the best impression.  Pretty soon our own sense of daring and wonder is lost in what we're "supposed to be."

Worrying about what we're supposed to be suppresses the child in us, who has no doubt that his or her purpose on the planet is to have fun. Who said you couldn't live your entire life with that beautiful energy of daring and joy? Growing up shouldn't mean giving up our purest spirit. We shouldn't allow ourselves to be controlled by our fear of not living up to other people's expectations.

Of course this doesn't mean you should ditch your commitments and responsibilities in favor of doing whatever feels good in the moment. What I'm encouraging you to do instead is to make choices that bring you joy and fulfillment. Choose a career that fills your soul as well as your wallet. Love your family and those around you and cherish all the relationships in your life. And remember to live life on your own terms. Live your own truth. When other people's expectations become the master of the choices you make, you give away the power to determine your own happiness.

A fellow named Gil Bailie once said, "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

Make it your mission in life to fully come alive. You and the world will be better for it.

Get away from it all

Haven't you ever had time you wanted to get away from it all? In March/April 1978, www.motherearthnews.com published a story about a couple who bought McLeod's Island — a 90-acre island off the coast of Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

They have a few animals, spend very little on groceries, and are pretty well sustained by the island itself. Although it does present them with some challenges:

    "The sea, you know, is not called "restless" for nothing. A glass-smooth bay (as we've learned so well!) can churn-sometimes seemingly in seconds-into a windswept chaos of currents and combers. We've also seen that same bay (the one in which our island is located) thaw and then completely refreeze in just hours on a single December day.

    Winters up here can be especially variable. Continual spring-like thaws throughout 1976's cold season, for instance, kept our bay filled with slushy ice that was too thick to push a boat through ... but too dangerous for even a fox to walk on. We were marooned for three full months, from the first of January until the end of March. Last winter's record cold snap, on the other hand, filled the bay so solidly with pack ice that we could hike back and forth to the mainland for our mail and toboggan loads of supplies any time we wanted."

For some of us, we find the Internet gives us the freedom to be able to work and live almost any place we want to. These people didn't have that luxury. I use the past tense as I can't find any current information about them. Who knows? Maybe the tide swept the out to sea.

Life is full of sacrifices. Some are just more dear than others. Still, I don't think buying an island is in my future.

You can read the whole article here.
http://www.motherearthnews.com/library/1978_March_April/We_Homesteaded_an_Island

Get All Of The Facts In Dealing With Your Fears And Phobias

When dealing with our persistent fears and phobias, it is easy to let our imagination get the better of us. Our negative and scary thoughts can overcome the reality of the situation and can make things worse than what they really are. As a result, here are some techniques a person can use to help gain a better perspective of your fearful situation.

The most important thing is to get all of the facts of the situation. Gathering the facts can prevent us from relying on exaggerated and fearful assumptions. By focusing on the facts, a person can rely on what is reality and what is not.

Do not let your negative thoughts get the better of you. Replace those negative thoughts with positive statements that represent the reality of your situation. Remember that our worrying and fears can make the problem even worse.

Sometimes, we may lack the self-confidence of doing a certain task that may be scary. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship hockey game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that your playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Self-Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation.

If you have trouble overcoming your phobias, remember to learn from your mistakes and to give it another try. Doing anything in life requires practice and persistence. For example, remember the time when you first learned to ride a bike. The first few times, you kept following off the bike. With some practice and some time, you were able to ride your bike with no problem. Everything we do is a learning experience so do not get discouraged if you don’t make it on the first or second time.

As a layman, I realize it is not easy to overcome our phobias. Take things in stride and try not focus too much on the problem. In time, you will find the ways to overcome your phobia. If you have trouble, talk to a professional who can give you additional insights on your situation.

Gatekeeping, Your Brains Ultimate Secretary

Picture a secretary or assistant in your brain. This assistant is going to decide what information to allow through to your conscious brain.  They are the gatekeepers of information.  Their job is important, as an overwhelming amount of information is thrown at you daily and you’d go crazy if it all came to you on a conscious level.

Part of the information they don't allow past the gate is anything that your brain or unconscious self does not want to accept as true.   You see, we take on beliefs as we are growing up. These beliefs’ can come from our parents, teachers, friends and the society where we were raised. And they may not align with our beliefs today.

This can be compounded when you are trying to work with co-workers or clients. You see the person you are trying to give a message to also has their own gate keeping system, with their own set of beliefs.

For example, you may believe that the road to success is easy with the right tools. However, the subconscious is playing a tape from childhood that is saying, "Yeah right, you know that it's a struggle and most people don't make it."

The result is that <b>your gatekeeper will keep back success opportunities from you.</b> It believes that it is doing you a favour. It doesn't want you to prove yourself wrong or create conflict in your mind and risk stress and anxiety that may come from conflicting beliefs. So the results are, that you will not see what is right in front of you.

Have you ever been looking for something and said to yourself. "Why can't I ever find what I am looking for?" and then someone comes up and shows you that it is right in front of you. You stand there and can't believe that you didn't see it. This happens all the time.

I also teach that the brains RAS (Reticular Activating System) looks at all the information and says, "Is this a danger or important?", and if no it filters it away.  This shows just how little of the information you receive.

This is one of reasons that it is so important to look at your belief systems. Many of them may be blocking you from the things that you want in life.  There are ways to find out and ways to remove beliefs that don't serve you.

First, look around at your life. Is it the one you want? Are there things lacking and missing? If not then the odds are that you have conflicting beliefs.
I have read many articles about people who every time they received money, something came up and they lost it again.

In looking into their childhood, they found that money meant pain, hurt, or being sinful so they got rid of it in a hurry. Once they removed the old beliefs, they were able to achieve, business, personal and financial success.

One way to start is to start journaling and ask your self. Just what do I believe? And for each answer ask, "Does this serve me?"  If the answer is no, then you need to replace that belief. For some people the changes come fast.  For others that have several deeply ingrained beliefs, they may need help from professionals that are trained in replacing old beliefs.

I have personally found that those with an understanding of Quantum Physics, have helped countless people change their lives.  As well, there are many counselors and coaches that can help.

In any case, with help you can move forward in life and place what you desire on your RAS’s important list. Then watch the opportunities start to appear.

To see a list of people who teach Quantum Physics and Neuroscience for success go to:
<aGolden Falcon Recommends</a>
and read, <b>Teachers of Quantum Physics and Neuroscience for success.</b>

Gardening experience

Ah, to this day I still remember my first gardening experience. It was<br />such a disaster that I didnt think I would ever want to garden again. I<br />almost decided to turn my casual hobby into the most rage-inducing topic<br />you could possibly bring up to me.<br /><br />It all started a few weeks after I moved in to my first house. I was<br />excited just to have my own grass to mow, since I had been in apartments<br />and condos for quite a while. In between plans to paint walls and renovate<br />the inside to exactly how I like, I thought it would be a good idea to<br />start a fruit garden so that I could have some fresh produce and put my<br />yard to use. At that point I didnt really know anything at all about<br />gardening. But still in my spunky youthful years, I decided I didnt need<br />help. How hard could it be to start a garden and grow stuff? After all, it<br />happens in nature all the time and nobody even has to do anything.<br /><br />I already had a grassless patch in my yard where it looked like the<br />previous owner had attempted a garden. But any attempt they had made<br />turned out to be an utter travesty. The area was full of rocks and weeds,<br />with no signs of any agreeable plants. I spent several hours of work<br />spread over several days to clear out the entire area, leaving nothing but<br />dirt. At that point, however, I didnt realize the difference between<br />dirt and soil. I was dealing with barren, hard, nutritionless, and<br />unforgiving land.<br /><br />I made some attempt at making my garden look nice; although I think even<br />Martha Stewart would have had difficulties. I took some stained boards<br />that were sitting in my basement (quite convenient, no?) and used them as<br />a border for my garden, to keep out all the pests that couldnt jump more<br />than a foot (I figured I would be safe from lawn gnomes). I used the pile<br />of rocks I had collected from the garden to make a creepy shrine looking<br />thing in front of it. I dont know what I was thinking when I did that.<br /><br />I went to the store that very day, and picked out whatever looked tasty.<br />Strawberries? Sure! Watermelon? Yeah! I hacked away a hole in the<br />rock-hard ground and poked the seed in. After that, I think I watered it<br />faithfully every day for several weeks before realizing that it was not<br />going to grow anything. But even after I had that realization, I continued<br />to water in hopes that my seeds would pull a last minute sprout on me. But<br />I knew there was no hope, and I was heartbroken. After all those hours of<br />pulling up weeds and tossing rocks into a pile, I had no fruit to show for<br />my labor.<br /><br />So, feeling dejected and betrayed, I logged onto the internet and searched<br />for a guide to gardening. I quickly ran across a site that led me to<br />realize the true skill required for gardening. It was then I learned about<br />soil consistency, nutrients, ideal watering conditions, seasons, and all<br />those things. After I read up on my area and how to grow fruits, I learned<br />exactly what to do. I learned how to get the ideal soil, when to plant the<br />seeds, how much to water, etc. Just a night of browsing the internet and<br />printing off sources, and I was totally ready for the next planting season.<br /><br />If youre in the position I was, and youre just itching to start a new<br />garden I urge you to learn from my mistake. Make sure you do plenty of<br />proper research on the types of plants youre trying to grow, along with<br />the climate. Spend money on good soil, good fertilizer, and good garden<br />tools. Hopefully you dont have to go through the emotional disaster that<br />I went through.

Gain 100% Control Over Your Relaxation and Sleeping Time

In today's high stress, high anxiety world, rest is the single most important thing you can do for yourself. The time that you select to relax or sleep can rejuvenate your body and mind or, it can be a frustrating task of tossing and turning to seek comfort and relief from pain.

Sleep experts and the medical community constantly remind us that unless we rest well and comfortably, problems can result. These problems can be physical as well as mental.

Disorders related to sleep and rest have been linked to such medical maladies as back and breathing problems, irritability and depression, weight gain, and more. Finding a solution to each of these sleep-related problems can be long and disconcerting.

Pills may offer some relief, but this is usually temporary as the effectiveness of the medication lessens with constant use. Breathing machines have improved sleep for persons with sleep apnea and &quot;white noise&quot; has offered relief for those who have trouble falling asleep.

After years of study and experimentation, experts are rapidly coming to the conclusion that getting a good night's sleep may actually depend on the type of bed you're sleeping upon.

Beds have evolved through history from makeshift palettes made from leaves to the adjustable beds of today that conform to your body's every want and need. These beds were originally designed to offer comfort and relaxation. Now, they're being touted as the new age solution to sleep or rest dilemmas.

<b>Sleep Deprivation Can Deprive You of Quality of Life</b>

Sleep deprivation can deprive you in other ways that you've probably never thought of. For example, lack of a peaceful night's sleep can affect your waking hours in ways that cause poor job performance or safety issues such as drowsiness while driving a car or operating machinery.

"Time" magazine recently published that "getting a good night's sleep is an ordeal for 70 million Americans." To better understand how sleep deprivation can affect your quality of life, sleep clinics have popped up all over the country in an effort to study sleep problems and find solutions.

The good news from these studies is that your sleep surface can be a major solution to most rest and relaxation problems that can lead to medical difficulties. It makes perfect sense that if you can adjust your bed to obtain the ultimate comfort and pain relief, you'll have the ultimate good night's sleep.

If you stay awake at night because of your partner's tossing and turning, a dual adjustable bed can be a great solution to that problem. Back support and body alignment that adjustable beds offer can also help you in your quest for rest.

Adjustable beds bear no resemblance to the old, mechanical hospital beds of the past. Manufacturers now produce remote controlled, electronically operated beds and have made them longer, wider and more durable than ever before.

You can also find an adjustable bed that blends with your décor, uses ordinary sized linen and offers approximately a thousand different positions so that you can find the perfect comfort level.

Don't let sleep deprivation ruin your quality of life. Research and consider an adjustable bed to see what it can do for you.

<b>Why A Stationary Bed Isn't Enough</b>

In order to gain 100% control over your sleep and relaxation, the bed that you choose needs to conform to your body's needs. If you're suffering from sleep deprivation, don't underplay the significance of how your bed can control the quality of your life.

Adjustable bed manufacturers such as Simmons, Craftmatic, Tempurpedic and Electropedic offer many options that cater to your comfort needs and will help you gain control of your sleep and relaxation problems.

These options range from heaters and massagers to the latest technology in positioning. If you suffer from allergies, you can find an adjustable bed that is resistant to bacteria, mold, mildew and mites. Adjustable beds offer everything that a top quality stationary bed has - and so much more.

The proper adjustable bed can be your ultimate sanctuary from stress and pain. Don't skimp on your health and comfort needs when they might just be a comfortable night's sleep away on an adjustable bed.

Gagner A la Roulette

Depuis que la roulette est considérée comme un jeu de chance, tout le monde pense qu'il doit exister plus ou moins de trucs pouvant vous faciliter vos jeux. Mais ceci n'est pas toujours vrai. Bien que quelques conseils d'experts puissent vous être donnés, sachez que nulle stratégie n'est fiable à 100%. En voici cependant quelques une.

Essayez la Roulette Européenne: généralement, vous trouverez sur les sites de casino en ligne deux types de roulettes: l'européenne et l'américaine. La seule différence entre les deux et le nombre de cases de zéro existant sur le cylindre. L'européenne n'en comprend qu'une, alors que l'américaine en dispose de deux. Cette différenciation s'explique par l'avantage pris par la maison ( ou casino). Avec un seul zéro, l'avantage de la maison est diminué de moitié, ce qui vous permet d'accroître vos chances de gagner.

Apprenez à bien miser: les paris sur numéros simples sont la pire chose à faire dans tous les jeux de casinos existants. L'avantage de la maison est si important lorsque vous pariez sur un nombre simple qu'il vous est presque impossible de remporter quelque gain que ce soit. De plus, avant de pouvoir gagner, il vous faudra miser énormément auparavant. Les meilleurs paris restent donc ceux dont l'avantage de la maison est le plus faible.

Jouez pour le plaisir. Quand vous jouez pour le plaisir, vous êtes d'avantage détendu et plus apte à prendre de bonnes décisions, ce qui est loin d'être le cas lorsque vous vous trouvez en état de stress, soumis à la pression de devoir remporter de l'argent. Dans ce cas ci, vous pouvez le payer très cher car votre compréhension du jeu est altérée et vous pousse à commettre d'inévitables erreurs.

Etablissez votre budget. Ce conseil est valable pour tous les jeux d'argent, sans restrictions aucune. Ne jouez jamais sans avoir au préalable déterminé votre budget. Ne jouez qu'avec la somme prévue et jamais d'avantage. En effet, si vous pensez jouez d'avantage que cela, il ne s'agira plus dès lors d'un simple petit problème financier à court terme mais d'un véritable gouffre sur le long terme, et la limite est fine avant d'être considéré comme joueur problématique et se retrouver interdit de casino.

Mettez de coté ce que vous venez de gagner. A nouveau, ce conseil, avec le précédent, est l'un des meilleurs. En remisant ce que vous venez de gagner, si le tour précédant vous perdez, rien de dramatique n'est arrivé à votre budget. En revanche, si vous misez tout le temps avec vos gains et que vous perdez à chaque coup, il ne vous restera dès lors plus rien. Et entre nous, il vaut mieux repartir avec un petit quelque chose que rien du tout. Ne laissez jamais vos gains sur le tapis car en cas de perte, vous perdrez tout, très vite.

Entrainez vous. Rendez-vous sur un casino en ligne et jouez des parties gratuites en mode démo afin de vous familiariser avec le jeu. Il n'y a rien de pire que de se rendre à un jeu dont on ne maîtrise pas les règles et de pariez au bon vent la chance.  Lisez avant tout les règles des jeux, puis allez sur le mode démo et jouez y régulièrement jusqu'à ce que vous vous sentiez prêt à passer le cap du mode réel.

Future Plans or Dreams?

People tend to look in the future with perspective. That is, probably, a remarkable characteristics of human beings. Sure, very often future seems quite vague and uncertain, which makes people feel distressed and at a loss. For this reason we plan events and dream of achieving best results in what we plan.

So, what is the key difference between a future plan and a dream? A dream has some special taste or smell, whatever. It is very often our fantasy, our cherished desire, some crazy wish. We may know that we’ll never get what we dream about but still have and keep our dream for quite a long time. Moreover, some really funny things can turn into dreams for someone, like having a bath full of macaroni (as it was described in one movie), and a person will live the entire life with such a dream. Plans are considered to be much more down-to-earth. Nowadays planning is everywhere: when at job we have daily schedule, even household chores are planned. But of course there are more “global-like” or serious plans, like buying a house at the seaside in 10 years or so. The latter example can be attributed to both dreams and plans. Thus a dream can turn into a plan, if you have some strategy of achieving your aim. There is one more aspect: plans are not always what we really want to get; very often we have to plan unpleasant things for us. A school-boy plans to write his final essay by the deadline, but that’s not what he wants to do. Well, he wants to get a good result, but the whole process may be far from pleasant for him. However, the plan is with him. A new bike can be a dream for this boy, if his family is not rich or is against such presents. Still, this dream can soon transform into a plan. As we see, plans and dreams, despite some differences, are often inter-connected and inter-dependant. That is because they have one important thing in common: they are about future, which is indeed uncertain. Because of such uncertainty, dreams at times turn to be more realistic than plans. That’s life.

Since childhood we dream and plan. We want to open at least a small slot in the doors to the future; that is the sweetness of uncertainty, which may end with bitterness or a greater sweetness. Anyway, both planning and dreaming follow us in the course of our whole life, because they give us grounds, which is more, they provide us with a reason for living.

From Can’t To Can

My wife and I recently had an opportunity to make lemonade out of lemons. Our two regular, daytime childcare providers chose the same week for their summer vacations. Instead of scrambling to find replacements, we decided to take a little break ourselves and go to a nearby hot springs retreat for a few days.

While relaxing in one of the warm pools, I had an interesting conversation with a man who had been a ski instructor for over 15 years. The resort where he teaches in Utah has some kind of harness that allows the instructor to ski with a child as young as 2-3 years old. The harness gives the child the feeling of skiing freely while ensuring his or her safety. The instructor is always connected and supporting the child.
In this way a child grows up “knowing” that he or she can ski. They never have the awkwardness that older children or adults experience when putting skis on for the first time. Their bodies and brains get programmed early on to believe that skiing is normal, natural, and that they know how to do it.

The next morning, I took my daughter Ella for a walk in her new stroller. As we meandered alongside a gurgling creek, I noticed that she was having trouble getting her bottle out of the mesh cup holder. She kept trying, coming very close, until finally she looked up at me, clearly asking for help. My first instinct was to reach down and take the bottle out of the pocket for her. But I resisted that urge, and instead, encouraged her to try again. “You can do it, Ella.” She gave me a very cute, determined nod of her head, turned back to her bottle, and, sure enough, with just another 15 seconds of effort, she pulled that bottle out and took a nice long drink.

Now here’s the interesting part. Later on that same walk, I noticed her reach down casually – I’m not even sure she looked! – and pull the bottle out of the pocket. It was as if she had always known how to do it and there was nothing simpler in the world.
Just that one learning experience had shifted her entire perception. Instead of questioning her ability to succeed, she now knew from experience that she could do it, and that knowledge enabled her to do it easily and effortlessly.

Which brings me to now, to us, to you and me and to the attitudes and perceptions we bring to our projects and pursuits and to our entire lives. We are surrounded by taglines and clichés extolling the virtues of positive perceptions, “Just do it.” “Can-do attitude.” Etc. And yet, my personal experience and my observations of others suggest that very few of us approach life with the perspective of “can-do.” We usually approach life with the attitude of “I’ll stick with what I know.” We tend to avoid attempting something new because our core belief tells us that, at worst, we can’t do it and, at best, it will be a struggle.

We approach new projects, jobs, relationships, anything that has not previously been proven possible with a doubting attitude, an attitude of “I can’t do this,” or, “this is going to be difficult,” instead of approaching it with the attitude of someone who knows they can do it. “I can do this. This is going to be easy. Sure it may take some time, yeah I’ll need to learn some new skills, but I know I can do it.”

The interesting thing about these two attitudes is that there is no difference in the potential outcome. In either case, when you are trying something new, you will either do it or you won’t do it. You will either succeed or fail.

When you approach something with an “I can’t” attitude more often than not, you match or meet your expectations by failing. You are predetermined, if you will, to fail, and so, you usually will. Occasionally, you surprise yourself when you succeed.

I know there have been many - more than I care to remember - times when I have turned away from an opportunity because I was afraid I would fail, I was afraid of not doing it well. Often, I was not even aware of that fear. It was hidden deep in my psyche, running the show from the background.

I’d rather see us approach new things with the attitude of “I can.” With that perspective, with a predisposition to success, we’ll find that most of the time we match our expectations by discovering that we can do it, we can succeed. And when, on the rare occasion, we fail, we’ll recognize the opportunity to learn and accept that we just were not meant to succeed at that particular task.

Can you think of opportunities that you have passed up because you were doubtful of your ability to succeed? Can you think of times when you have avoided doing something you really wanted because you felt you would not be good at it? Can you think of some opportunity or possibility in your life right now that would require you to bring a can-do attitude, an attitude of assumed confidence rather than presumed incompetence?

For at least the next week I encourage you to be on the lookout for signs of your inner “can’t” voice. When you hear that voice whispering all the reasons why you can’t do something, begin to consciously and intentionally shift your focus to the much softer ca voice. Shift your perception from can’t to can, from fear to fun, from no to yes.

In Buddhism there is a term called Beginner’s Mind that encourages practitioners to bring an empty mind, free of any preconceptions, to each new experience they encounter. Barring the possibility of attaining that level of emptiness, I want to encourage you to cultivate and nurture an attitude and perception of optimism.

Take a moment, right now, to imagine how your life would be different if you approached it with an attitude of “I Can” instead of an attitude of “I Can’t” or even “I might be able to.” Imagine that, like those little kids being guided down the slope by a nurturing, supportive ski instructor, you had been blessed with a “life instructor” who instilled in you the truth, the feeling, the knowledge that anything you want to do, you can!

How would that feel? How would that change the way you approach your life? If you knew that you could not fail, what project would you take on? If you knew that you could only succeed at whatever you attempted, how would your life be different?

From Alcohol Dependence To Natural Recovery

Alcohol dependence is a wide spread problem that affects tens of millions of people throughout the globe. There are many more additional people touched in some indirect way with the associated problems of alcoholism or dependency. There are almost as many ideas on how to recover from this mental, physical and spiritual dilemma as there are people affected by it. Many major programs such as 12 step or treatment facilities claim some degree of success by utilizing a form of “group therapy” that focuses primarily on the mental and spiritual aspects of recovery. Although there may be some benefit to this perspective on recovery, the physical aspects are usually ignored except for abstinence from alcohol.

The disease concept has become widely accepted concerning alcoholism and is today recognized as such by the American Medical Association and the Surgeon General of the United States of America. Although the cause of alcoholism/alcohol dependency is not completely understood, many believe that it is a physiological ailment staged at the molecular level. Some believe that the alcohol affliction is an innate DNA source, citing an “alcoholic gene”, and/or a lack of human alcohol dehydrogenase (ADH), the enzyme that is thought to catalyze alcohol oxidation. Some success has been gained from treating the disease strictly on the molecular level.

Some of the available programs that are comprehensive in nature have postulated that a single treatment program is not a one-size-fits-all proposition. Detoxification is usually the first issue at hand. Many experienced in the treatment of alcohol dependence insist on this before addressing the mental or spiritual aspects of alcoholism. Herbal treatment is advised by many in the detoxification stage. Some with more severe dependency issues may have to opt for prescribed drugs to get beyond the delirium tremors. Once that hurdle is jumped, herbal treatment helps to promote a cleansing of the body. Relaxation techniques and meditation exercises have been known to reduce stress and promote good general health. Mental exercises and affirmations have been used successful by many in recovery. A change in attitude from the negative to the positive can change the very molecular interaction in the brain. Other influences, however, such as the presence of ethanol can circumvent such rearrangement. A slow steady process toward balance is recommended.

A host of ancient Chinese remedies originally focused on all three aspects of the alcohol dependence malady. Some were not so comprehensive. They addressed primary physical or psychological based aversions. Many early treatments were focused on a negative association with alcohol consumption in many different forms of "punishment" or ill feelings. Others were herbal in nature while some subscribed to a force of will approach. A search of ancient Chinese pharmacopoeias reveals many of these types of "treatments" for alcohol dependency, some dating as far back as 600 AD. The earliest of theories involved a fundamental belief that a natural balance must exist in the entire body in order to heal from any sort of illness, injury or spiritual infliction. The short explanation concerning balance is "Yin-Yang". It postulates that everything, including the body, contains opposing forces: "Yin" (negative) and "Yang" (positive). Anything in balance achieves harmony between these negative and positive forces. A by-product of the balance achieved is strength, which is in turn, used to fight any stress within the body. Of the over 7,000 herbs and roots recognized and categorized by traditional Chinese medicine, one stands head and shoulders above the rest for the treatment of alcohol dependency. It is kudzu, and it is widely used to this day.

Kudzu (Radix puerariae, root of pueraria lobata) or the flower (Flos puerariae) of Pueraria lobata, and the derived daidzin 12 is an anti-dipsotropic supplement for use in the treatment of alcohol dependency and alcoholism. For thousands of years, hangovers and cravings have been treated successfully in China by prescribing kudzu. In scientific research performed at Harvard University, the effect of diminished cravings in animals was noted in tests performed with daidzin on various animal species. David Lee, an organic chemist at Research Triangle Institute, worked with derivatives of kudzu and its influence on alcohol consumption in rats in 1991. He found that the overwhelming majority of rats tested either appeared to become disinterested in alcohol over the long term or appeared to consume less. It was also documented that the rats retained better motor coordination functions, even while under the influence of alcohol.

Although no one is quite sure how it works, its prescribed high dosages of one of Kudzu's active ingredients (puerarin) are used in China to elevate blood flow to the brain and heart. It is believed by some that this action triggers a faster natural response by the body to normalize and thus decrease the effect of craving. The dilation of heart muscles is one documented action provided which facilitates the increased flow of blood especially to the brain. Puerarin can also prevent cardiovascular damage caused by the inadequate oxygen levels associated with low blood circulation in the body. Puerarin has also been known by some sources to prevent liver damage. The powerful effective isoflavones contained in kudzu can help detoxify and balance the body toward better equilibrium and therefore improved general health. It can also help to stabilize sugar levels, which can prevent sweeping mood swings.

The treatment and ultimate recovery of alcohol dependency is a complex and delicate issue. Many experts agree that detoxification, the use of kudzu or daidzin and consequent psychological, physiological and spiritual growth is a necessary natural pathway toward recovery. A balance must be achieved through the reconciliation of positive and negative forces. Any molecular or metabolic enzymatic inconsistencies must be addressed, and a positive attitude must be gained.

From Aaaaah To Ahaa! – Treating Phobias Through Hypnotherapy For Phobias

Are you one of those who mortally fears flying in airplane or getting into an elevator; are you one of those people who would rather live on take out food for days if you found a rat in your cupboard while cleaning? Then it seems to me you have a phobia. But before you start hassling yourself with it, let me make it clear that a phobia is very different from fear. Fear is a rational feeling, which is driven by the instinct of survival; let’s say fear of falling or fear of touching sharp things. You are afraid of them because you know you might hurt yourself with them. However a phobia is an irrational feeling, it is a grave fear attached to an object or situation, which in reality might not harm us after all! Something like a fear of water, dentists, blood, driving etc. they might not harm us but we are mortally scared of them in any case. Can you identify yourself with any of the phobia situations? Then its time you looked at hypnotherapy for phobias to help your situation.

Imagine this, you have been offered a lucrative position of a hotshot executive at a premier company; the profile looks irresistible, the pay is exceptional and it has the makings of the perfect job you imagined. There is only one hitch…the profile requires you to jet set around the world at frequent intervals, and you are petrified of flying. What would you do; would you give up a dream job because of your phobia? In most cases, a phobia is a negative emotion; your mind tells you that what you are scared of might not be rational and plausible, but your subconscious will just not allow you to override the fear. In such cases, you end up losing on a lot of opportunities which you might regret later; worse still your phobia might adversely affect your career, family and love life. This is where hypnotherapy for phobias comes in. A hypnotherapist will ideally work with you to discover the issues which led to the formation of such a phobia. Most of these phobias are born in our childhood, and our subconscious mind detaches the fear from the situation. What it carries on in the adulthood is the irrational fear, with no recollection whatsoever of the situation which instilled this fear in us. Hypnotherapy for phobias will let you reconnect with the past and identify the root cause of your phobia.

Now that we have established the cause of the phobia, there are different ways on which it can be approached. For example, there is a method we hypnotherapists call Cognitive hypnotherapy, which helps your mind realign the reactions to the fearful situations. In other words, these techniques help you to form a behavior pattern when faced with the situation or object you fear. Let’s say if you are water phobic or are scared of driving, this method of hypnotherapy for phobias will teach you to have a calm reaction when faced with a situation, and teach you to relax with the help of visualizations.

In some other cases, hypnotherapy for phobias works on the theory of making the subconscious mind realize that the phobia is irrational. This is done with the help of auto suggestions and positive enforcements. The subconscious is made aware that though the fear might have served a specific purpose in your childhood, it holds no relevance in your life as an adult; by being fed these suggestions on a regular basis, your subconscious will learn to distance itself from the fear and eventually discard it for good.

There is a common factor between phobias and hypnotherapy; they are both related to the subconscious. However, while one is irrational and undesirable, the other is all about self discovery and self innovation.

Fresh Inspirations: Truths to Live By

Copyright 2006 Melissa Galt

I recently spoke in Milwaukee for the Symphony Orchestra’s annual fundraising luncheon and tabletop setting auction. It was a great event, well attended by many patrons of the arts. Milwaukee has a breathtaking new addition to their art museum, a fascinating architectural history, and perhaps the largest collection of clocks on church towers and more, that I have seen. Knowing that they were interested in my heritage, particularly Frank Lloyd Wright, I created a presentation centered on three life truths. I illustrated these with great grandfather’s life, my godmother, and Mother. They are truths we can all benefit from.

Creating a Unique and Original Life In order to lead an original and unique life, we do have to think outside of the box and create our own rules and guidelines for accomplishment. The best among us always have done so, and this is one of the lasting legacies of Frank Lloyd Wright. He never played by the rules, but instead established his own path and despite the many naysayers created architecture well ahead of its time. His designs still serve as an inspiration today. Many said he couldn’t do what he in fact did. They said it wouldn’t work, wouldn’t stand the test of time, and would collapse. While many of his projects do undergo extensive renovation, the innovative concepts presented in such properties as Fallingwater and the S.C. Johnson Wax Plant are timeless and blazed a trail of originality.

The Choices We Make We are each the sum total of the choices we have made to date. If we want a new reality, we have to make new choices. After all, the very definition of insanity is to do the same thing always and expect a different result. When we change our actions, we change our results.

A perfect case in point is my Godmother, Edith Head. At age thirty she was teaching French to an all girls school in California, and because she had studied a semester abroad in Europe the school assumed she could also teach art. She in fact couldn’t draw more than stick figures but took on the task. While looking in the paper one day, she saw a contest for drawing costumes for one of the major movie studios. Borrowing her student’s sketches she entered. And won! When showing up on the first day and being asked to draw, she was found out, but her courage and presumption so captivated the designer that he took her on and the rest is history including 8 Oscars for costume design over a 50-year career.

Life is in the Living Life is in the living, not in the stuff. Stuff more often than not simply weighs us down and stands in our way. In order to move forward, to continue growing and changing, we must let things go. Those elements we keep with us must serve as inspiration and memories, not as baggage. What you bring forward is up to you.

When Mother passed some 20+ years ago now, we each had only a file folder of mementos that she had kept (I have two sisters). This was such a gift rather than what I see so often with clients and hordes of baby clothes, bronzed shoes, elementary school artwork projects most of us would soon forget, broken trophies from days gone by and too much more. Mother saved the best, the things that really counted to her and hence they mattered to us. What better gift. The most significant legacy she left was the memories of times spent together, not the stuff left behind. When you live from your heart and your mind, not by your hand and your purse, you will truly know that it is the connections and relationships that define us, not our possessions. He who dies with the most toys, still dies . . . .

Fresh Air Can Beat Insomnia

If you live in a climate where you are subjected to the four seasons in all of their glory, you might find that you suffer from insomnia at certain times of the year. Quite often people find it more difficult to fall asleep during the late fall and winter months. For some, they attribute that to the shortened daylight hours or perhaps a small case of depression as the temperature plummet and time spent outside is rare.

The cause of their insomnia might be the change in weather but the solution might be as easy as opening a window. Fresh air seems to help many people fall asleep.

Usually during the warmer months we tend to open the windows of our home. Having a gentle flow of fresh air into the room feels relaxing while we sleep and if the weather is pleasant it almost goes without thinking that we keep the windows open, even if just a bit.

In the colder months that becomes a bit more challenging. As we glance out the window to see a frosty scene before us, we don't even contemplate the idea of opening a window when we go to bed. Then we find ourselves tossing and turning as the night quickly becomes morning, and we have to start our day without any rest and feeling the effects of that.

When our home is closed up for winter, it becomes a world all of its own. The air doesn't circulate well and the air quickly becomes stale. As we lay in bed trying to sleep, it is that air that hasn't been circulated and is essentially used that we are forced to breathe in. For some people that is enough to keep them from sleeping.

There are several ways you can get the air moving again even when the temperature is cold outside. A few suggestions that you might try are:

An air purifier. You can purchase these at many online retail outlets as well as at many hardware stores. Many are portable and these allow you to use the purifier in your bedroom at night and then take it with you to another room during the day.

A ceiling fan. Ceiling fans are designed with a dual purpose in mind. They help cool a room during the warmer months and then help with the circulation of air during the colder months. Although they do come with detailed installation instructions, you might be wise to hire and electrician to handle the job.

Your furnace. Most newer model furnaces are designed to keep the air in a home in constant circulation. They also keep the air clean and for a climate where the temperature dips very low, having an efficient furnace is very important.

If you do happen to live in a climate where the temperature doesn't dip too low, you may be able to keep your window open a bit the entire year. Keeping that constant flow of fresh and new air entering the room will help lessen your chances of developing insomnia, because your body won't be breathing in the same stale air night after night.

Freedom from Habits - 7 Daily Steps to Transformation

Copyright 2006 Sheri Zampelli

Do you have a bad habit you’d like to kick? Whether it’s overeating, interrupting conversations or quitting before you reach your goal, bad habits are learned and they can be unlearned. In this article I will outline a plan for success with seven daily steps to get started and help you stay on track.

One way to motivate yourself is to focus on who you want to be and why. Why do you want to stop your bad habit? Why do you want to change your behavior? How will you benefit? Focusing on what’s positive about change will help you hang in there during tough times. You may also want to think about who you DON’T want to be and why. Perhaps your self-defeating behavior is incongruent with your inner self-image. Think of the legacy you want to leave behind or what type of person you want to be when you’re 30, 50 or 70. Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years? The actions you take today will determine who you become tomorrow.

If you’ve made it far enough in life to learn to read and use a computer, you’ve probably had a few successes along the way. Reflect back on previous successes and ask yourself what made success possible? What motivated you? Consider the losses or gains you will experience by making current or future changes. Use this information to motivate you toward future successes.

Your current habits have probably been reinforced over many years. Your old behaviors likely have built in rewards that keep you stuck. You can develop new habits by setting small, manageable goals and designing built-in rewards each time you achieve them. An example of a reward is saving money in a jar each day you achieve your goal then buying yourself a treat with the savings. It can also include doing something you enjoy after each successful day or week. If your new behaviors don’t have built-in rewards you’ll probably get frustrated and give up.

As you work on your new goals and develop new habits, be prepared for setbacks and resistance. Don’t beat yourself up when things don’t go exactly as you had planned, instead, use your failures as cues to what needs to be different next time. Keep a journal and write in it daily. Outline what works, what doesn’t, and why. Be flexible and change your goals as time moves on. Plan ways to avoid future setbacks.

Finally, successfully breaking a habit means that you have to start thinking of yourself in a new way. Rather than labeling yourself or defining yourself in terms of your problem, you need to begin seeing yourself as a success. One tool to use is positive affirmations. Positive affirmations help you to keep your focus on what you want, not what you don’t.

One of the important things to remember when using affirmations is the power of repetition. You should say your affirmations to yourself at least 50-100 times a day. Some people say, “I tried that positive self-talk and it doesn’t work.” It’s true, you cannot say your affirmations 5-10 times a day and expect them to work. The repetition is what works. Here are some ways to keep focused and honest about your affirmations.

1. Use an affirmation journal. Write the date at the top of a page and then write out each of your affirmations and number them as you go, this way you can really keep track of how many you actually did.

2. Make your own affirmation tapes. Write out a list of affirmations then speak them into a tape recorder. To make them even more effective, use background music or sing them. Make them catchy and hard to get out of your mind. The most effective tapes are endless loop tapes available at Get an empty jar and add a coin or bean to it each time you say an affirmation. Or fill a jar with 50-100 coins or beans and transfer them to another empty jar as you say your affirmations. This way you will see progress and keep an accurate count of how many affirmations you’ve actually said.

3. You can also write your affirmations on index cards and post them in various parts of your home or office to keep you reminded of your new self-statements. Another way to change your self-image is through visualization. The more often you can see yourself engaging in your desired behavior the less likely you will be to sabotage yourself when changes occur. Visualization helps you to become mentally comfortable with success so that when true success happens, you are prepared. Take time each day to see yourself as the type of person you want to become. Identify yourself with your new behavior. Practice it mentally.

Getting Started:

• Outline the habit you would like to give up and what you’d like to be doing instead.

• Map out 1-10 CONCRETE steps you can take in the next 21 days to succeed. Plan them into your daily schedule.

• Write a paragraph or more about where you’d like to be in 5-10 years. What kind of person do you want to be?

• Write a list of all your successes in life. Keep it and add to it as you think of more.

• Make a reward list and vow to reward yourself each time you achieve a goal.

Daily To Do List

1. Remind yourself throughout the day: “I can do something for one day that would appall me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.” Put yourself on a 5-min. basis if necessary.

2. Tell yourself: “Each day that I stick to my plan I move closer to becoming the person I want to be.” “I am becoming a new person. I let the old me go free. It no longer suits my personality.”

3. Write out your successes daily.

4. Give yourself rewards for each success. Acknowledge your progress.

5. Write about setbacks you had.  Try to remember what you were thinking, or doing that may have provoked the setback. Plan a way to resolve this in the future.

6. Set aside 15-20 minutes daily to vividly imagine yourself doing your new behavior or achieving your desired goal. Each time you do this, list it in your success journal.

7. Write, speak or read at least 50-100 affirmations daily. Use a jar, stickers, cards, beans or a journal to keep an accurate, truthful count.

You might think to yourself, “This will never work or this is too easy or this will take too long.”  But you can only truly make those comments after you have put this strategy to work for a bare minimum of 30-days.  The greatest results will come if you do exercises like this everyday, non-stop from now on.  What you do have to lose by trying?

Freedom From Bondage, It is Your Choice

Copyright 2006 Marshall House

Issues of freedom or bondage often surface in individuals and organization. Words other than freedom or bondage may be used: e.g., powerlessness, control, victimization, safety, limitations, restrictions, trust, confinement, oppression, suppression. At the base of all these negative issues is fear. Fear, however, is more difficult for some folks to admit or face than one of these other concepts, so I find it is often wise to avoid the word "fear" which can sometimes feel like an accusation.

Freedom and Bondage Issues

In organizations, the issue may be the bondage related to perceived limited resources or shortsighted policies. For subordinates, restrictions of management or lack of personal skills/experience are often mentioned. For individuals who feel trapped in relationships, concerns around expressing truth are prevalent, as are feelings of entrapment with respect to judgments.

You may find it helpful to consider the words "freedom" and "bondage" in the broadest sense of their definitions. At the same time, consider your own personal issues related to freedom and bondage. The concept of each word is contained it its opposite.

The Energy of Freedom and Bondage

Freedom and bondage and the other euphemisms all have energetic components. That is, when someone feels free, his or her freedom is represented in the energy field. By the same token, expressions of lack of freedom or feelings of victimization or patterns of powerlessness or control issues present themselves in the energy field. One of my gifts is the ability to perceive how these issues present themselves in the energy field and facilitate appropriate shifts. The energy field has many layers and levels and cycles. There is an interlacing of horizontal and vertical lines and movement that presents itself in waves.

When we work in deeper energetic dimensions, we can save years of therapy or thousands of dollars in consulting fees. Make no mistake, individuals and organizations have to be ready to work energetically on these issues in order for deep, fast, and lasting results. Energetic work is not fast-food consciousness. Those who respond best to energetic work have usually already spent many hours in personal development or organizational change efforts. Conscious awareness attracts and expands conscious awareness. Directing people to images that represent their experiences sometimes has the added benefit of distracting them from defending their experiences; as they become interested in a color or illusion or sound, their resistance lessens.

Case Study in Energetic Freedom from Bondage

Following is a summary of a portion of a session with a client in the Personal Energetic Clearing Process. Some of the images may seem strange to you, but I encourage you to read the article through to the end.

Chad (a pseudonym, of course) had attended many of my workshops over several years, so he was quite familiar with my approach when he began working with me on a one-to-one basis. In this particular session, we honed in on fear, sadness, and anger, most of which appeared to be lodged in his chest energetically.

In the energy field I could see the appearance of metal plates on his right ankle. I called them "shackles" but they did not embrace the whole ankle, nor were they locked. That is not my idea of very secure shackles, which was precisely the point! He needed only to reach down and lift them off. As I talked about the shackles, I could feel the fear immediately well up in him, primarily around the chest. His breathing became labored and tears came to his eyes. He agreed to removing the shackles, which we did gently together, one piece at a time. I worked with green healing energy to soothe the areas as we worked on them.

I was careful to move at a pace that allowed Chad to integrate what was happening. I detected no resistance in him. He was ready. A part of him wanted it to happen fast, but we were both more interested in depth. He felt and talked about the fears: fear of freedom, fear of stepping out, fear of leaving a structured life, fear of......, and just plain fear.

Emotions and Energetic Forms

We worked with the fears energetically and found that they were woven with anger and sadness. Chad's thoughts were flooded with pictures of slavery and other oppression.

We worked with a variety of energetics and energetic techniques to dissipate the hardened emotions. Three golden cosmic catheters went into his heart, providing immediate emotional relief and easier breathing. Geometric cones, concave triangles, and golden spheres were inserted all around the heart space. His legs absorbed vibrant cones to provide greater balance.

I had not forgotten the chains and shackles that I had removed from his ankle that sat waiting in the energy field. We returned to them several times for information they contained.

Many images and memories and waves of energy passed through my own consciousness -- too many to report. No reports were needed, however, because Chad was able to connect with these events in his own way. He required almost no verbal input from me, which allowed me to stay focused on the energy work. And then the time came when the chains and shackles were to be released from his energy field. Angelic beings, waiting patiently at the sidelines, came forward when asked and gathered up the metal pieces and flew away with them. Their sweet energy provided another dimension of healing. It was an honor to work with them, as always.

My Suggestions to Enhance Chad's Personal Work

I told Chad that he was likely to be releasing fear, anger, and sadness over the next few days and weeks. I suggested that some of the releases may be surprising, perhaps strangely unemotional or strongly emotional. I offered him a list of simple releasing techniques, like singing, screaming at the beach, breathing deeply, pounding his chest while making sounds, and crying.

I find that suggesting specific releasing techniques is quite helpful for most clients. The truth is that any technique will work if the proper intention is present, and that no technique will work in the absence of a proper intention. I find that techniques assist people to uncover and focus on their true intention.

The Significance of Energetic Freedom from Bondage

More than three years after doing this session with Chad, he said he was deeply empowered by the experience. The empowerment showed in his face. He considered this and one other event in the Personal Energetic Clearing Process were pivotal to his transformation. My private practice is filled with similar sessions of energetic freedom, so that I can say that this is not an isolated, chance event.

As folks like Chad have the courage to remove their shackles, my own lift more easily. I speak more freely about the true nature of my work. At one time I would not have reported such a case as this in the Marshall House Journal. Now I delight in sharing this experience via the Internet!

Humanity has been in one form of bondage or another for thousands of years. Individuals feel entrapped in relationships. Layers of society feel stuck in homelessness or poverty. Individuals feel unable to speak their truth. Groups are enslaved by other groups. Victims and victimizers still find each other. We feel bound by our past.

But are we really? Perhaps it is as simple as reaching down and lifting off the unlocked shackles!

When You Cannot Attend a Memorial Service, Writing a Condolence Letter Can Help

Condolence letters are considered some of the most difficult letters to write and send because of their very sensitive nature. Even so, when someone close to you is dealing with the loss of a loved one, the grief and bereavement, writing and sending a condolence letter is probably one of the most considerate, kind, and thoughtful things you can do.

A condolence letter, if written properly, can show that you care about your friend and what they’re going through and that you are sympathetic to their loss. Although there are many different ways to remember a loved one, such as a funeral, memorial service, online memorials, and online obituaries, writing and sending condolence letters can also be your way of not only expressing sympathy but also in remembering a loved one and sharing those memories with your grieving friend or relative.

The problem is that many people have a hard time finding the right words to express themselves in writing during such a sensitive time. Before you put pen to paper or start thinking of what on you are possibly going to write, keep in mind that your letter, in addition to being carefully and well-written, should aim to achieve three main purposes. The first is to express sympathy and comfort to your friend or relative experiencing the loss of a loved one. The second is to honor and pay tribute to the deceased and the third is to let the bereaved person know that you are available should they need help. If you are able to keep these three things in mind, and put them on paper, your condolence letter will in fact be honest and heartfelt.

Try to be personal and heartfelt in your condolence letter, without being too sentimental and gushing. You can start by acknowledging what happened—the person’s death, how you found out about it, how it made you feel, etc. Do not go into detail about how or why the person died—this is completely unnecessary and unhelpful. Move on to express sympathy and comfort to your friend or relative in bereavement. If you don’t know the name of person who died (for example, it could be your best friend’s grandmother), find out. This will make your condolence letter more personal and meaningful. If you’re uncomfortable asking, find out at the funeral or memorial service, or search online - their obituary may be online or an online memorial may have been set up.

Next, include positive statements about the relationship between the deceased and your friend or loved one, if appropriate, as well as positive statements about your relationship with the deceased. Don’t forget to include something positive about them in general—his or her good qualities, characteristics, personality, hobbies, interests, good memories, etc.

In writing your condolence letter, avoid clichés like “I know how you feel” or “This is for the best” or “This is God’s will”—these statements are generally not sincere or heartfelt and don’t really serve a purpose.
Also, avoid writing general statements about your willingness to help if needed (this is unfortunately very common in condolence letters). While you likely have a desire to do something for your friend or relative who is grieving for the loss of a loved one, think of something practical that you can specifically do, and then offer your services—but only if you can follow through.

How do you send a condolence letter? First of all, it’s usually not appropriate to type and then print one out using your computer. Secondly, avoid e-mailing a condolence letter, save for special or extreme circumstances. The best way to write and send your letter is to handwrite it using stationery. Remembering a loved one and offering support through a condolence letter requires a personal touch.
When mailing your letter, make sure it’s mailed within two weeks or so of the person’s death in order to properly pay your respects in a timely manner.

Writing a condolence letter is not an easy task.  It is a difficult but necessary thing we may all have to do in our life to help aid a loved one in a time of need.  Take this as a simple guide to get you on your way as you have to take on the task.

~Ben Anton, 2007

Using Condolence Poems in Eulogies or Condolence Letters

Death is not an easy subject for anyone to discuss or cope with. Often your emotions are so stirred up that it can be very difficult to come up with words of condolence for those that need them.  Sometime you find yourself not saying anything at all and that can be even worse than saying the wrong thing.  Poems can be the perfect way to get across what you want to say.  Memorial service poems can actually put everyone more at ease during a funeral or memorial service.

Grieving family and friends want others to remember their loved one’s life and acknowledge them. Seeing a life celebrated and hearing words of sympathy and celebration from others often helps them move through their own grief journey. The right memorial service poetry can really set the mood for the whole ceremony.  Written words can be much more effective than spoken condolences at reaching a grieving person’s heart. Simple and soothing words acknowledging a loss, accompanied by a meaningful sympathy or condolence poem can touch a heart like nothing else can.

Having a memorial poem or poetry to look back upon can really be an emotional strengthener.  A poem can be about the life of the one who has passed or just kind words.  The memorial poem could be about an event in the loved one’s life or just loving words of a close friend. Often these mementos are kept for many years, framed for the family or left at the gravesite as a reminder of the deceased.

There are numerous memorial service, condolence and sympathy poems written and easily available.  Poems ranging from heartfelt and sad to lighthearted and even funny have been written by amateur and professional poetry writers to put words to the feelings that are expressed after someone has died.  If you are asked to speak at a memorial or funeral service and are having a difficult time writing down how this loss has made you or the family feel, consider including a poem in your tribute.

To add a poem to your eulogy or condolence letter, first you must consider who the person was and what they would have appreciated or enjoyed read. If the person who passed enjoyed the outdoors, maybe a memorial poem with colorful forest or nature-like imagery would speak to the audience, and properly pay tribute to the lost loved one.  If the deceased was a practical joker or light-hearted individual, maybe a poem that incorporates a bit of humor would remind their family of what a happy spirit that individual was.

Look at your local bookstore for poetry books that have memorial or condolence poems included or search online for posted poetry.  Poems can range in topics and styles – flowery or overly-dramatic poetry is not the only option available. Many families and friends choose to write their own poems or essays about the deceased to have read at memorial services or posted on online memorial sites. This is a great way for those that are able to express their feelings on paper to do so and share those words to help heal the grief experienced by other family members as well.

Using poetry to help with grief, to express love or pain and to memorialize a friend or family member is very powerful and will be appreciated by others who have experienced a loss.

~ Ben Anton, 2008

The Truth About Emotional Intelligence

There is so much emphasis on emotional intelligence these days that it appears that people are suppressing their emotions and problems in an effort to "fit in," to keep their jobs, and using "positive self-talk" to muscle through the rough spots in their lives.

Recently, I had a friend over who has suffered enormous job stress during a time when his wife's father was dying of cancer. Of course, quitting his job didn't seem like an option during this difficult period, particularly since his wife returned to her parental home for many months to say good-bye to her dying father. That left him at home to take care of their children, pay the bills, and so on. Who can forge positively into a new job-search with all that going on?

After his father-in-law passed away his wife returned home and he lost his job - as did many of his colleagues - and his wife decided she no longer wanted to remain married. What else could go wrong? OH! Of course! His father could be diagnosed with cancer: He was.

Now he is living a complete hell, with all of this turmoil, and two sweet children looking to him for stability. Is it any wonder that people are cracking under the strain?

He is all alone and he tries to be "emotionally together" but that only causes more harm than good. We (society), in our need for order and stability, don't want people with all these problems in our lives. We don't want them working in our office. They're broken!

Well, the truth is, our (society) expectations around emotional intelligence, and together, full-functioning adults, is what is breaking them.

I spent three hours with him the other night, acknowledging his horrific circumstances, his emotional turmoil, and gave him permission to embrace it all. He's not broken, he's experiencing emotional pain and it needs to be expressed, embraced, and worked through (processed.) It's not enough that he embrace it either. Community is required to surround, love, heal, and regenerate.

So, when we see hurting people, don't look at them as broken people who haven't got their act together. Look at them as someone who needs a bit of kindness, generosity, and loving support. Watch the power those simple things can have in their life.

<b>Caveat:</b> <i>This does not condone people remaining disempowered victims for the rest of their lives. Our role is to embrace and still to empower, leaving the "wounded one" to take responsibility for their recovery. Embrace, love, and challenge.</i>

The Problem with the Rebound

One of the most common mistakes in a relationship is the rebound. For those of you who do not know what a rebound relationship is, let’s start with that. The definition of a rebound relationship is jumping into a committed relationship very quickly after the end of a committed relationship. Many people fall into this type of trap as they are trying to move on from a break up. There are healthy ways to get past the dissolution of a relationship and a rebound relationship definitely does not belong in that list. There are many reasons not to rebound with someone right after a committed relationship. Some of them include trying to replace an ex, not enough time to heal, and you can hurt the person you start dating.

First of all, dating someone on the rebound is not a good idea because many people who date on the rebound are trying to replace their ex. Many people in this position have low self-esteem and rebound in order to have someone to be with. Loneliness can be a very motivating factor to push someone into a relationship before they are ready. Do not let this happen to you. The break up of a relationship is painful and there is not a quick fix to get over it. Respect yourself enough to just take the time you need to get over this hurtful experience. Rebounding will not help you get over the breakup or replace your ex significant other. It will only cause problems in your life.

Another reason you do not want to try to rebound is that you will not have enough time to heal. This was talked about briefly when discussing trying to replace your ex. Respecting yourself and getting to know yourself again is the only way to get over being dumped. Jumping into another serious relationship does not allow enough time for you to do either of these things. Take some much needed time to grieve over your relationship, and then you can decide what type of role you want to have in the dating game. There is no hurry, so don’t rush. Playing it safe and smart after a break up is always a good idea.

A final reason that you don’t want to get immediately back into a relationship when you get dumped or break up with someone is that there are other people’s feelings to consider. Think about if you jump into a serious relationship and then realize you aren’t ready for it. The person you are dating might be extremely hurt by this. Considering others’ feelings is very important as you do not want any more hard feelings between you and another person. If you move too quickly into a relationship and then back out, that leaves the other person possibly devastated. Moving more slowly into a relationship can help better the chances that someone else may be hurt.

Obviously rebounds are not a healthy way to get back into the dating scene. So many things can go wrong if you do this, and risking more pain when you are not over the first heartache will not help. Take time to get over your broken relationship, learn about yourself and who you are, and what you want out of a new relationship. By doing this, you may spare yourself and someone else the pain of another break up.

Ten Ideas for Creating a Memorial After the Funeral or Life Celebration

Below you will find many memorial and remembrance ideas that you can use to keep the memory of your loved one alive. After the funeral, memorial service or life celebration many people wish to have something permanent as a reminder of the person that they loved and lost. It may help to think about what was important to the person you lost. What did they value? What made them smile? Perhaps by beginning there, the appropriate memorial will present itself. Here are 10 ideas that may help to guide you.

- You can plant a tree in their memory. You can find tree seedlings on the internet. You could also buy a tree at a local nursery.

- Have your love one's photo placed on a stamp. This also would be ideal for the thank you notes you will be sending for the flowers, donations and the help you will be receiving. Get more information here http://photo.stamps.com/PhotoStamps/learn-more/. On the anniversary of their death or on their birthday, consider sending a card or a memorial gift to close friends and relatives.

- Donate a memorial bench, if they loved golf, their favorite golf course may welcome the donation of a memorial bench. You may also consider purchasing a plaque or a brick in their name to help fund a community project.
- Have a star in the sky named after your loved one.
- Plant a section in the garden each year with their favorite flowers, you also may want to add a stepping stone or rock with their name on it in their special section of the garden. Consider each year sharing flowers from that section of the garden with the family and friends of your loved one.
- Start a college scholarship in their name.
- Create a video or DVD from photos and video or movie clips. This video can be played at family gatherings and on the person’s birthday or anniversary of their death. You can also easily make copies to share with close friends and relatives.
- Create a book of memories for the deceased’s family. Have friends and family write on note cards and include the note cards with photos in the book. You may also want to include newspaper articles about the deceased, the obituary etc.
- Create a memorial on the web – there are several websites that allow loved ones to memorialize the deceased through video, pictures, and voice recordings.
- Keep a journal of your memories, your thoughts and what you learned from your loved one.

Dealing with a loss of a loved one is so difficult. It’s important to do what brings you peace-of-mind. Focusing on a memorial may help you through the grief process and allow you to focus on the unique and positive aspects of your loved ones life and how that life can be remembered and celebrated for years to come.

Sympathy Flowers - Advice from Experts

Flowers have been displayed at the time of one's passing in nearly every culture throughout time, and their importance continues today.  At funerals, wakes, memorials, and cremation services, flowers and plants are a sensitive way to commemorate the life of the departed, express heartfelt sympathy to the bereaved family, and provide an important element of natural beauty in an otherwise somber environment. Family and friends often comment on the artistry, color, and fragrance of sympathy flowers, helping to aide conversation and soften the sorrow.  An outpouring of flowers or a particularly striking floral tribute may be remembered long after the funeral as one of the most uplifting symbols of support.  In the weeks that follow, flowers, gift baskets, and other expressions sent to the home are also important, as family members adjust to their grief.  If you would like to express your sympathy to someone but are unsure what types of flowers or other gestures may best fit the situation, here are a few suggestions from experts to help.

<b>Showing You Care</b>
The most important consideration is to show you care, for the deceased, the bereaved family, and other loved ones who will be gathered.  Flowers are one critical component, because they show tribute and honor to the life of the deceased.  When considering what type of sympathy flowers may be most appropriate, consider that life.  Bright flowers may be best to describe a fruitful life and convey the joy of fondest memories.  Pale pastels are appropriate for a soft, feminine touch, while Autumn tones convey a more masculine theme.  Pure white blossoms denote purity, grace, and peace.  Roses, especially red ones, express undying love.

<b>Making It Personal</b>
If you'd like to personalize your tribute even more, your local florist can help.  You might consider incorporating a favorite flower, personal item, or picture of the family.  For someone who loved gardening, you might consider a gathering basket of garden fresh flowers with a just-picked look.  For someone of faith, you might prefer a cross, Madonna, or other icon.  Funeral flowers can be designed in all kinds of shapes and sizes, including insignias and sports items, as well as more traditional wreaths and sprays.  Of course, flowers aren't the only way to show you care.  Other gestures are important as well.  Providing dinner for the family some evening can be so helpful, especially for families including children or elderly.   A thoughtful letter, informal outing, or contribution to a favorite charity are excellent options, too.  These additional gestures compliment the thoughtfulness of your sympathy flowers, adding an extra personal touch that will be greatly appreciated.

<b>Knowing How Much to Spend</b>
The cost of funerals is steadily increasing.  Fortunately, there are flowers for almost every budget.  You can express yourself eloquently with something as simple as a single perfect rose, as economical as a modest mixed arrangement, or as striking as a grande standing spray of elegant roses and lilies.  For gifts to the funeral home or memorial service, fresh flower arrangements in vases and fan-shaped sympathy designs are usually best, because they provide the most impact for your money.  Sympathy flowers come in a broad range of sizes and price ranges.  The choice is up to you, but remember there may be other floral tributes displayed in close proximity.  So, you don't want to skimp on size.  For a nice table arrangement, plan on spending about $50 to $70,  with fancier styles running $75 and up.  For a larger standing piece, $100 to $150 is common.  For gifts to the home, both flowers and plant are popular, with prices typically in the $35 to $60 range.

<b>What about "in lieu of flowers?"</b>
At the suggestion of well-meaning friends or advisors, families sometimes include a phrase in the obituary announcement such as, "In lieu of flowers, contributions may be sent to..."  Of course, most families sincerely appreciate all personal expressions of support and may later regret having too few flowers at the funeral.  A more appropriate phrase for many might be, "In addition to flowers..." or simply, "Contributions appreciated to..."  Use your best judgement, but keep in mind that the "in lieu of"  terminology is usually intended to encourage charitable gifts rather than discourage other expressions.  Tasteful sympathy flowers are almost always appropriate in addition to charitable giving.

<b>I didn't find out until after the funeral!</B>
Even if you didn't know about the funeral until after it was over, you can still convey your love and respect.  Family members need your thoughts, prayers, and personal expressions long after the funeral is over.  Flowers and other gestures are a sensitive and appropriate way to let them know that they are not alone. After all, one of the best ways to honor those who have passed is to support those they have left behind.

<b>Are there other ways that I can help?</b>
The best thing you can do is to let family members know that you care. Help with meals, provide child care, drop by with a gift or card, or simply call.  Everyone responds to loss differently, but reaching out reminds people they're not alone. You're care may help distract them from their grief allowing an easier transition into a normal routine.  In other words, just being there is the best thing you can do to help.


From the people at <a href=”http://www.800florals.com”>1-800-Florals</a> and the Society of American Florists.  For additional information and floral tributes, visit <a href="http://800florals.com/category.asp?category=sf">Sympathy Flowers</a> online.
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Permission is granted to republish this article in its entirety on the Internet, as long as the credit and link above are included.</i>